Eeny Meeny Miny Moe
by xXx.midnight-sunshine.xXx
Summary: -COMPLETE- Because if you can't have ONE arrogant, selfish, stubborn B-STARD you just have to settle for the other one but who's complaining? SasuNejiTen will probably end up NejiTen Dedicated to: The Blood Ruby. REVIEW PLEASE!
1. Chapter 1

Here's a SasuNejiTen story dedicated to The Blood Ruby!

Enjoy Loves!

Disclaimer: I DON'T OWN! (Sobs and has a midlife crisis…even though I'm fourteen)

_Thoughts/flashbacks_

_**Inners**_

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"You, Hyuuga Neji, are a stubborn, selfish, thickheaded BASTARD!" I yelled, pointing to Neji with an accusing finger.

"Stubborn and thickheaded mean the same thing…" he replied back, uncaring. I groaned, frustrated, and threw my hands down.

"See? Point proven, you _are_ a BASTARD!" I screamed. He shrugged and I yelled out in frustration. "Fine BE that way!"

"Tenten…" I glared back at him and huffed, angrily. Walking away from the training fields I bit my lip. Does he have to be so insensitive and so mean? Please, it's _totally _obvious that I like the dickhead _(hehe that's a funny word…)_ and he doesn't do a DAMN thing about it! UGH! I stomped through the forest, venting my anger with frustrated growls.

Next thing I knew I was…ATTACKED!

DUN DUN DUUUUN

X-o-0-o-X

**Earlier that Day**

X-o-0-o-X

Uchiha Sasuke was in a pickle.

No not _literally_.

Well anywho, the problem was that the stupid Dobe had won over Sakura! (A/N: I HATE NaruSaku with the fiery passion of youth! Just bear with me)

Nuh uh, HE was supposed to marry Sakura! Not the stupid Dobe! Besides didn't that Hyuuga girl like him?

-insert sigh here-

_Flashback-_

"_Uchiha Sasuke!" Tsunade yelled, slamming her fist onto her wooden desk. "You are a traitor and a missing nin and you just decide to randomly come back one day!?"_

"_Uh… yeah pretty much"_

"_Oh… well the council wants me to let you off with some sort of punishment even though you killed Orochmaru"_

"_Not to mention Itachi and Deidara"_

_(Outside the window, many fangirls were crying their eyes out and screaming to the heavens for their beloved Akatsuki members)_

"_Well they still want me to let you off with a punishment so… you're on probation for three months! No missions or tomatoes for that time!"_

_Sasuke twitched visibly._

"_Oh yeah and since you're the last Uchiha you will obviously inherit everything. Money, land, yadda yadda"_

'_EFFING SWEET!' Sasuke thought, inwardly grinning madly._

"_But!"_

"_Oh no"_

"_It has been written down in the old clan scrolls that you must first marry to inherit everything!" Tsunade smiled at the sixteen-year-old boy "And you have to do it by your eighteenth birthday… Happy Wife Hunting!"_

_-End Flashback_

It has been one year since that day. Which means he has how much time left?

And if you can't do math, either:

a)Cry like a little girl

b)Leave

c)Kill yourself

d)All of the above!! :)

But yeah, Sasuke only has one year to complete this mission otherwise he would be as poor as well… a poor person. Groaning, in his mind he went over all the women of Konoha.

* * *

_Welcome to the deep, dark, slghtly disturbing crevices of Sasuke's Mind_

_Pop. SASUKE (bitchh)_

_--_

_**IT'S THE KONOHA DATING GAME!**_

'_**Today's lucky bachelor is… Uchiha Sasuke! Now Sasuke, tell us why you're here'**_

'_That's a dumb question, obviously I'm here to find a girl who I can marry… dumbass'_

'_**Rudeness aside, here is a list of all the Kunoichi currently in Konoha!"**_

_--_

_SAKURA_

_Nope she likes the Dobe_

_**(Sob)**_

_HINATA_

_Nah, too obsessed with the Dobe, and her teammates are overprotective_

_**Kiba totally likes her**_

_INO_

_No, she's with Sai…_

_TEMARI_

_No, with Shikamaru_

_KURENAI_

_Hell no, she's pregnant with Asuma's baby_

_ANKO_

_Nope, she's dating Iruka_

_TSUNADE_

_Hell Freaking NO!_

_**She wouldn't want you anyway she has Jiraiya… you cocky bastard**_

_MOEGI_

_Is that the girl who always hangs around that (sniffly) Udon kid? Yeah, no_

_HANABI_

_Haha NO besides, I'm not particularly fond of Hyuugas_

_**She likes Konohamaru anyway**_

_SHIZUNE_

_She's with Kakashi… What is it with you and suggesting older women anyway?_

_**Hey, someone needs to balance out your immaturity!**_

_I'm not immature!_

_**Says the one who is arguing with his inner thoughts**_

_TENTEN_

_Doesn't the Hyuuga (no not Hinata!) have his claim on her?_

_**Of course he does! But he's too conceited and smug (like someone else I know) to do anything!**_

_Where are you going with this?_

_**OPEN YOUR EYES! She's a good Kunoichi and she perfectly fits the qualifications for a good Uchiha wife!**_

_--_

_You are now leaving: Sasuke's Mind_

_Have a FANTASTIC day!_

Sasuke smirked.

Even though he never had a decent conversation with Tenten in the entire series, nor has he ever once even considered the possibility of having Uchiha Babies™ with her, he was going to make her his, one way or another.

Besides, he's Uchiha Sasuke, he can do _anything._

X-o-0-o-X

**With Tenten…**

X-o-0-o-X

"Ack! Get off of me!" I yelled, pounding the back of my captor. He stopped moving and dropped me onto the ground. "Argh, what the-"

"Go out with me"

"Wha?" I said confusedly

"Go out with me" he looked up at me and my eyes widened.

Staring at me, straight in my chocolate brown eyes with his cold onyx ones, was Uchiha Sasuke. My eyes returned to normal size and I contemplated his offer. My thoughts roamed back to Neji and I smirked. Sasuke seemed to notice but didn't do anything to rush my reply.

If I couldn't have one cocky, arrogant, selfish bastard and I would settle for the other!

"Alright"

And when I uttered that one word, in the back of my mind I could hear the faint sound of dramatic music.

DUN DUN DUUUUN

Dramatic, _indeed_.

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Haha here ya go The Blood Ruby! This will have maybe one or two more chapters LOL

Please review!


	2. Chapter 2

Here's a SasuNejiTen story dedicated to The Blood Ruby!

Enjoy Loves!

Disclaimer: I DON'T OWN! (Sobs and has a midlife crisis…even though I'm fourteen)

_Thoughts/flashbacks_

_**Inners**_

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"Good", he said simply. Sasuke let go of my arms and smirked.

"…"

That's it? No holding hands, no affection, no kissing? Well maybe not kissing, I don't kiss on the first date. Hell, he didn't even offer to help me up.

Chivalry has died my friends.

x-: **BADA BING BADA BANG** :-x

"Oh no, a big wooden door! And it's CLOSED! Oh whatever shall I do?"

"Beats me lady"

x-: **BADA BOOM **:-x

Oh _hell _to the no.

"Yo, a little help here?" I called, kind of ticked off. Sasuke turned to me and raised an eyebrow as if questioningmy sanity.

"I find you to be a perfectly fit kunoichi, you should be able to get up on your own without needing my help" he said emotionlessly. I tilted my head to the side. I'm pretty sure I heard a compliment _somewhere_ in there. Lifting myself off the ground, I dusted myself off of the dirt that had gotten on my outfit.

"Er… thanks. But you know, if you really want to impress me you could be a little more chivalrous and actually help me up" I stated in a somewhat scolding manner. He sighed and ran a hand through his hair.

"Sorry… I'm a bit new to this whole dating thing" he admitted, a very light shade of pink adorning his cheeks. I laughed and walked up to him.

"Truth be told, I'm new to it too… so what now?" I asked, flicking my bangs to the side of my face. Sasuke ran his hand through his hair yet again and furrowed his brows in concentration (quite cutely I might add).

"How about dinner, say around seven?" he asked me. I rubbed my chin as if I was considering his offer.

"Sure, why not?" He smirked.

"Good, make sure you dress nicely"

X-o-0-o-X

**Later…**

X-o-0-o-X

What to wear, what to wear?

I rummaged through my closet, occasionally picking something out, contemplating whether or not I should wear it, only to throw it on top of the growing pile beside my bed. I groaned in frustration until I spotted a box on my top shelf. I stood on my tip toes and grabbed it, dusting the top off, trying to read what I had labeled it as.

_In Case of a Date with Neji… OPEN THE FREAKIN' BOX!!_

I quirked my eyebrow and shrugged, opening the box.

OMG

It was _perfect!!_

Now, call me selfish for thinking this, but by some twist in fate (if Kami-sama was ever to be so kind) Neji would appear at the restaurant that Sasuke was taking me to and see me wearing this and be JEALOUS!

Ah, I'm so evil, sometimes I wonder _why _I haven't been recruited into the Akatsuki yet…

I giggled to myself and slipped on the outfit then began to assess myself in the mirror. I smoothed out the wrinkles near my hip and thought. The one thing left…

…was my hair.

I smirked and tugged at the two bands holding them up in twin buns and watched as my wavy brown hair tumbled to mid back.

It was _on _Hyuuga Neji!

'_Ding-dong' _I heard the doorbell ring and slipped on my shoes then proceeded to run down the stairs. I composed myself and turned the knob on the door, revealing a (dare I say it?) handsome Sasuke. He had black dress pants and shoes on, a white dress shirt, and a black jacket slung over his left shoulder. I smiled at him and his eyes widened a bit.

This was working perfectly!!

Of course, I guess it was a bit unusual to see me like this…

I was wearing a black and white print lace tank with a flowing black skirt with elegantly drawn flowers along the bottom. Over the tank was an all black shawl and my feet were adorned with a pair of black ballet flats with a white ribbon on each. Before answering the of door, I had quickly braided a few strands of hair and tied a white ribbon around it, the braid was now hanging in front of my right ear.

"U-uh… ready to go?" Sasuke STUTTERED. I inwardly smirked at the effectiveness of my appearance.

"Of course!" I replied cheerfully, flashing him a smile. He took my arm and we walked to the restaurant.

X-o-0-o-X

**Neji's POV**

X-o-0-o-X

I sunk lower and lower in my seat, wrinkling the black dress shirt I had on.

It just so happened that Hiashi needed a representative from the Hyuuga Branch Family and I was his first choice, so here I was, stuck in a restaurant with a bunch of old people discussing boring family matters.

Oh sigh.

Although, I had to admit, the restaurant was pretty classy. The walls were slightly off-white and were covered in paintings, candle holders, and small vases holding three red roses in each. The wooden floor was hidden under a deep maroon carpet and potted plants. The booths were decorated each with its own white tablecloth, crimson napkins, and a small ornament in the center of the table. The food perfectly fit the theme—delicious and expensive. But of course, since we were the prestigious and wealthy Hyuugas, we could afford just about anything. I turned in my seat, staring out the window, hoping to find something that may catch my interest when—holy _shit. _That looks like Tenten out the window! I shook my head disbelievingly. That couldn't be her! Tenten never wears skirts, dresses, or anything of that nature. But above all, she _never _lets her hair down. Not even in front of me, her _teammate. _Besides what would Tenten be doing here with Uchiha…

Oh HELL no…

That IS Tenten!

X-o-0-o-X

**Tenten's POV**

X-o-0-o-X

See, just as I predicted.

I spotted Neji only… 1, 2, 3, FOUR booths away from us!

Thank you Kami-sama, and I'm sorry about what I said before when I stubbed my toe, I never meant it I swear!!!

Well anyway… I do kinda-sorta-ish feel bad for using Sasuke like this. He isn't much of a talker (hmm, doesn't that remind you of someone?) but I've gotten used to it. If I do say so myself, he's actually pretty… nice…

Aw crap, what have I gotten myself into!?

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OMG! I'm soooo sorry about the late update! For further explanation, please look at my profile! Oh and check the poll!

Thanks to all who reviewed and I've decided this will probably have two more chapters.... probably! PLEASE REVIEW!


	3. Chapter 3

Here's a SasuNejiTen story dedicated to The Blood Ruby!

Enjoy Loves!

Disclaimer: I DON'T OWN! (Sobs and has a midlife crisis…even though I'm fourteen)

_Thoughts/flashbacks_

_**Inners**_

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X-o-0-o-X

**Sasuke's P.O.V.**

X-o-0-o-X

I was kinda freaked out.

I sat at the booth peering at Tenten over my menu and I was slightly disturbed. She was laughing maniacally and rubbing her hands evilly.

CREEEEPPYYYYY

-cough-

"So… Tenten… what do you want to eat?" I asked, hoping to focus her attention on me rather than on whatever she was thinking about at the moment.

Because I'm UCHIHA SASUKE!!

Despite what everyone tells you, I _like _the attention! Everything you know is a LIE!!

Yeah, go, cry!

-cough-

"Um Sasuke, why are you coughing? Are you okay?" Tenten asked, leaning over to check my temperature. I blushed and closed my eyes, trying to remove the picture in my head.

Because… ya know… girls have… erm…

_Assets…_

-cough-

"Sasuke are you okay?" Tenten asked, clapping me on the back repeatedly, thinking I was choking.

"I'm fine Tenten!" I said. She smiled at me and I couldn't help but smile back at her. She looked away but I still managed to see the blush brushing her cheeks. I smirked and looked down at my menu, trying to decide what to get.

X-o-0-o-X

**Tenten's P.O.V.**

X-o-0-o-X

'_Ah! Why is he so cute?' _I thought, biting my lip. I turned to look back and saw Neji staring at us intently. I let out an 'EEP' and turned back to Sasuke who was looking at his menu. I followed suit and picked out something from the menu, telling the waitress what I wanted.

"So… Sasuke…" I started. He looked up at me and raised an eyebrow.

"Yeah?"

"Um… why don't you… tell me about yourself…?" I said- slash- asked. Sasuke smirked at my flustered reply and I pouted, crossing my arms over my chest.

"Haha, well what do you want to know?"

"Um…" I snapped my fingers. "Let's play a game!"

"I just thought you were going to-"

"It's called Truth," I interrupted. "We just shoot questions back and forth and have to answer them truthfully"

"Sure, why not?" I grinned and rubbed my chin pensively. "What's your most embarrassing moment?" he blushed slightly.

"Well… it's a tie…" I raised an eyebrow, urging him to go on. "Well the first is when I was accidentally kissed Naruto before we became part of the same team and the second is…"

"C'mon, what is it?" I asked. "I promise I won't laugh" he furrowed his eyebrows and sighed.

"Promise you won't tell anyone"

"I promise"

"Well… back when I was with Orochimaru, he sent me on a mission… I was in a town somewhere in Kiri and I got… drunk… so… I _accidentally _started stripping onstage. The weird thing is that I can't remember anything"

I bit my lip, trying not to laugh and inhaled deeply, regulating my breath intake. "So how do you know what happened?"

"There are… pictures" I giggled and mouthed a 'sorry' when I saw Sasuke glaring at me. "Well it's my turn. What's your favorite song?"

"Psha. That's easy! Well I can never decide on one but my current is… The Coldest Heart by The Classic Crime"

"Really? Me too!" Sasuke added eagerly. I brightened up and grinned.

"Seriously? I didn't think anyone knew about them!"

X-o-0-o-X

**Neji's P.O.V.**

X-o-0-o-X

My grip on the fork tightened and all the Elders turned to me when it snapped in half.

"Oops"

"Neji, is there something wrong?" Hiashi asked me. I sighed.

"N- Yes," Hiashi turned to the Elders and cleared his throat.

"That is enough for today, I think it is for everyone's best interest that we end the meeting and continue tomorrow. Goodnight everybody," the Elders bowed respectfully to Hiashi and they left the restaurant. Hiashi turned to me. "Alright, what is it?"

"Well… you've met my teammate Tenten, right?" he nodded. "Well… it seems that over the years I've developed… _feelings _for her but I'm too much of a coward to do anything… I'm such a shame"

"Don't say such nonsense!" he scolded. "You, Neji, bring honor to our family and my brother—your father would be proud of you. You're strong, I would know. But matters of the heart are the most difficult to deal with. You may be strong mentally and physically but you aren't emotionally"

"And that helps me how?" I asked. He chuckled and patted my back.

"Think of this as training. Now, what is the purpose of training?"

"To become stronger?"

"Yes, but there is also another reason. It is to become prepared for what is to come in the future, to be ready for something great. Do you think that whatever you feel for Tenten will turn into something great?" I nodded. "Well then go, find her and claim her"

"But she's with the Uchiha," I spat. Hiashi's eyes widened.

"WHAT?! YOU LOST HER TO THE UCHIHA? WELL THEN GO, BOY! GET HER BACK! PROVE THAT THE HYUUGA CLAN IS BETTER THAN THE UCHIHA SCUM!" I nodded and ran away from the wrath of my uncle. He laughed evilly "take THAT Fugaku! My nephew has beaten your son! You're lucky you're dead or else you would've owed me ten thousand ryo!"

X-o-0-o-X

**Tenten's P.O.V.**

X-o-0-o-X

I laughed as Sasuke recalled another funny memory back with his days in team seven. I'm not gonna lie. I like the guy but he seems more like a best friend type than a boyfriend.

"Sasuke?"

"Yeah?"

"Well… why did you decide to ask me out?" I gulped and Sasuke frowned.

"I… I really like you Tenten and you're one of the coolest girls I've ever met but… I like Sakura… as in I _like _her a lot. But," he threw down his napkin, defeated. "She's with the Dobe and I was hoping to find someone who qualifies as someone I could marry or else I wouldn't inherit anything that my family left behind. I'm _really _sorry" The honesty in his voice almost made me want to squeeze him.

"What a relief! No offense Sasuke, I mean I really like you too but…" I blushed. "I kinda have this thing for Neji… I mean I have ever since I met him… and I thought since it was rumored that you two were so much alike I could either make him jealous by going out with you or end up liking you"

"Well at least everything's settled now," he said. I smiled at him and checked the clock on the far side of the wall.

"It's late, I think we should go"

"Yeah, I'll walk you home," Sasuke suggested.

"I'm good, besides you live on the complete other side of town, I don't want to give you any trouble" I grinned and hugged him. "Thanks Sasuke, I really had fun"

"Yeah me too-"

"UCHIHA!"

The next thing I saw was Sasuke flying through a wall and Neji standing in front of me, in the position to perform his gentle fist.

"Neji, what are you doing?"

"Stay out of this Tenten! This is between me and the Uchiha!" he exclaimed. I growled and kicked his shin. "Ow! What the hell was that for??"

"Tell me what's going on!" I yelled, getting impatient. He ran his fingers through his hair and sighed.

"I'm sorry Tenten… I didn't mean what I said earlier today and I'm sorry for all the times I acted like an ass to you but… I li-"

"Oh shut up," I said. I grabbed his collar and pulled him down and crashed my lips onto his.

-INSERT APPLAUSE HERE-

Another crash was heard and Tobi entered the restaurant, followed by a flustered Konan and an angry Zetsu.

"We're here to recruit Tenten!" Tobi announced. Konan coughed and stared at the couple now making out on top of the cleared table. Tobi grinned "SECOND BASE!!"

Sasuke rubbed his head and saw Sakura and Naruto on the other side of the restaurant, Naruto talking animatedly and Sakura looking very uninterested. Sasuke stomped over to them and grabbed Sakura's hand, pulling her up from her seat.

"Sasu-" she was cut off by Sasuke's lips on hers and Naruto merely shrugged, off to look for Hinata whom he had his eye on for quite a while –winkwinknudgenudge-

Tobi merely stared at the couples and shrugged. Konan poofed away to her beloved Pein and Zetsu flirted with a pretty damn sexy potted plant.

**The End!!**

Hiashi smiled to himself and shook his head.

"Ah, young love…"

"Excuse me, sir?"

"Yes?" he replied to the manager of the restaurant.

"Is that your son?"

"Nephew, actually"

"So you're his guardian?"

"Yes"

"Well because of him, we now need a new wall, four new tables, sixteen dishes, sixteen forks knives and spoon, fourteen glasses, nine new lights, and a new potted plant," he added, looking at Zetsu carrying the plant through the gaping hole in the wall. "Here's the bill"

Hiashi took the slip of paper out of the man's hands and choked. He cleared his throat and handed it to the man. Hiashi turned to look at Sakura and Sasuke and smiled.

"Put it on the Uchiha's tab"

**THE END!!**

**(fer cereal this time)**

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Hahaha well that's it! I hope you all enjoyed it! Please check out my other stories!

xoxo Nicole


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